Monday, 11:14 am in Cafe Larem, Gulu

The house is very quiet without Eliza and Nancy. Now only Janet, Eunice, and Samuel remain, none of whom are Daisy and Santo's children. I won't bother explaining all the connections in this family because, first of all, I can't keep it straight and secondly, it doesn't matter. There are probably about 15-18 children who have been raised by Daisy and Santo but together they have five biological children. The others are the children of Santo and one of his two other wives (one died and one is still living but divorced) or Santo' relatives. That's the way it is among the Acholi and that kind of responsibility for extended family is something Santo fears has been lost in Northern Uganda for a number of reasons. We had our supper last night and it was the first time Santo, Daisy, Annie and I were alone (after the children went to bed), the rain was torrential on the tin roof so we had to shout at some points but still the conversation was so rich. There's an easy kind of sharing that has grown over the last six days. But I am also extremely aware that I would have to live here a long time before I could begin to understand the complexities of this culture and people. I keep thinking that this is so very, very different from the life I have lived and yet some things are universal. In a way, I couldn't imagine before I came what I was going to experience. Going felt like skydiving. I said "yes" I'm going, got on a plane, and thought, now there is no turning back. Yet now that I have been here, I often think, oh yeah, people get up in the morning, get ready for the day, do whatever is needed to survive and be responsible for themselves and their family, have supper and go to sleep. That's what is the same. Santo's life is not all that different from mine or most people I know. He gets up, listens to the news, bathes, has "tea", is driven to work by a driver (sounds better than it is since it is either on a boda (motorbike) or decrepid truck (the one we took to Baker's Fort), goes to the office and has meeting after meeting unless he's traveling. But Daisy's everyday life is different. She's up around six, gets the charcoal on for water for bathing and "tea" and gets the children off to school. She brings tea inside to Santo and any adult around and then perhaps goes to the borehole (about 1/8 of a mile away) for water, bringing it back on her head, visits perhaps with a neighbor or relative, sweeps and mops inside the house and sweeps the entire compound, feeds the chickens, does the laundry by hand, and prepares lunch, supper, and on and on. Her day is full but she remains even and calm. It has become clear to me that I understand very little about "what women want." There is absolutely nothing simple about entering into another person's or people's world. You just have to listen and learn and suspend your interpretation as much as possible. This isn't easy but it is necessary. I didn't finish the story about Baker's Fort and the visit to Jeremiah Bongojane, the head of the Patiko chiefdom. His clan was one of those most affected by the war. He was a very soft-spoken and gentle man who became Chief after his father died about six years ago. He lives in a lovely home built by the government (all 54 chiefs in Northern Uganda have modest homes built by the government). Many of the Patiko people have come back to their villages and Jeremiah is somewhat optimistic that the traditional values of the clan are being revived. Cattle, goats and other sources of food have returned and mixed farming is coming back as well. Perhaps the most hopeful sign is that the bonfire (I don't know how to spell the Acholi word) is returning. This is the evening ritual where the head of the village will tell stories, riddles and proverbs. This is where and how the values are instilled. Ok, got to go to the hospital. More later... This is later, about 3:30 pm. We went to see Dr. David at the hospital and Annie is set to begin her interviews tomorrow. I helped him set up the iPad we brought him and my contribution for the rest of the week will be some 10-15 minute tutoring sessions on the device :) Again, lots of opportunities seem to arise here. How would I like to be a visiting professor at Gulu University? How often do you get that kind of question? Ha! We're going home now after we buy some beef for tonight's supper.